A White American Male on India Pale Ale

For the love of beer, I drink. Since before I can remember, it has been my alcoholic beverage of choice. Sure, there was a short period in my life when I dabbled in hard liquor, and an even shorter phase when I became somewhat obsessed with wine—very, very cheap wine. But for the most part, it’s always been beer that has satisfied my craving for a drink after a long day. Or after a short day. Or, on a rare occasion, first thing in the morning.

I began drinking beer as a young child, stealing sips from my father’s Schmitt’s, and enjoyed the taste from the very first time it touched my tongue. When I was in high school, it was mostly Labatt’s or Molson (I grew up very close to the Canadian border), and in college, whatever was cheapest, usually Milwaukee’s Best or Natural Ice—two of the foulest tasting beers on Earth (in those days, consuming beer had little to do with flavor). I then wasted most of my young adulthood throwing back 16 ounce longnecks of Genesee, before moving to the West Coast at the age of 25 and realizing for the first time, just how little I really knew about beer.

Microbreweries have changed the way I think about beer. I used to think that beer was beer. Sure, the cheaper the beer, the worst it tasted, but it all primarily had a flavor somewhat similar to one another. Craft brews, on the other hand, taught me that different beers can have different tastes, along with aromas, thicknesses, and even hangovers. I’ve enjoyed beers that have been flavored with everything from coffee and chocolate to blueberries and bourbon. I tried everything I could get my lips on and it didn’t take me long to figure out that the India Pale Ale (IPA) was my beer of choice. But just because you know which type of beer you prefer, doesn’t mean you know which brewer makes your favorite. So, that’s exactly what I set out to discover.

The advertisement in the paper said, “Work for beer!” so I signed up to volunteer at the Portland International Beerfest. In return for free entry the next day, which included a tasting glass and ten drink tickets, I poured beer for drunk people for three hours. It was somewhat strange to find myself on the opposite side of the bar, handing others beer instead of drinking it myself, but I held strong all night and never once snuck a sip. The time actually flew by, thanks to having one of the more popular beers at the festival: a one-ticket sampler for an IPA called “Hoppy Bitch.” All night, drunken people—mostly young males—handed me their tickets just so they could say the words “Hoppy Bitch” and laugh. A great marketing ploy, if you ask me, for I certainly planned on returning the following night for a taste myself.

In the early 18^th century, when Britain was colonizing India, the beer they sent to their troops was oftentimes spoiling because of the long sea voyage. They solved this horrific problem by adding more hops and alcohol, both having natural preservative value. Thus, the IPA was born. Recently, the West Coast has become a hotbed for IPA production, with breweries often pushing the envelope with strength and bitterness. IPA’s tend to have an ABV (Alcohol by Volume) of 5%-7.5%, and an IBU (International Bitter Unit) between 40 and 65. The higher the IBU, the more bitter the beer.

I spent Saturday afternoon conditioning my pallet with various IPAs and studying the Beerfest program, determining exactly which beers I needed to sample. Though it’s an “international” beer festival, only one brewery from outside the U.S. was contributing an IPA. I decided, that to find out which one was the best, I would try every one that was two tickets or less (It’s not that I believe that expensive beers aren’t worthy, but I’d rather not become obsessed with something I simply can’t afford to drink on a regular basis). Unfortunately, many of the IPA’s were already sold out by Saturday night (including the “Hoppy Bitch”), but here’s a list of all the ones I tried:

·         Ninkasi Total Domination

·         Lagunitas Sucks

·         Caldera IPA

·         Lompoc Pamplemouse IPA

·         Firestone Walker Wooky Jack Black Rye IPA

·         Lagunitas Maximus

·         Lagunitas A Little Sumpin’ Wild Ale

·         Brewdog Brewery Libertine Black Ale (Scotland)

·         Brewdog Brewery Hardcore IIPA (Scotland)

·         Fort George The Optimist

One would think that when tasting this many beers in a row, they would all taste quite similar by the end—that your judgment would be too impaired to choose a favorite. But with IPAs, that’s simply not the case. Each IPA has such a distinct flavor, depending on its strength and the type and amount of hops used, that you will almost instantly know if it’s the right beer for you. For me, the right beer was easy to choose. Out of the ten I tried, there was one that was far and away my favorite. The clear winner—Brewdog Breweries Hardcore IIPA (sorry West Coast breweries, but Scotland has you all beat).

Take into account that these were just the beers I tried on this one day. There are plenty of other IPA’s that I truly love. Please use the comment section below to add your favorite.