The Bigger the Truck

I’ll show ‘em…just wait and see…I’ll get myself a sports car, something bright, so you can’t miss it, something in red or yellow, maybe with racing stripes…and it’s gonna be real fast, and low to the ground, something that’ll do zero to a hundred in three seconds flat…no, never mind, come to think of it, I could never afford something like that…but what I can afford…yeah, that’ll show ‘em, that’ll show ‘em all…I’ll get myself a truck, a big truck, no, a real big truck…something so big that you’ll have to use a step ladder just to get into the cab…and it’ll have huge mud tires even though I’ll never take it off road…and the engine will be all souped-up, like a V-12 or maybe even bigger…yeah, that’ll show ‘em…and one of those mufflers that’s extra loud, so everybody knows I’m coming from a mile away…and that black cloud of smoke that bellows out of the exhaust every time I gun the gas pedal…yeah, that’ll really show ‘em…and a Confederate flag hanging off the back of the cab…and some decals on the rear window, something that’s both clever and inappropriate at the same time…something like “Ram the Daughter, Dodge the Father”…that’ll show ‘em…and maybe one of those stickers, the one with the little blond-haired boy urinating on the symbol of a rival auto maker…and how about some bumper stickers that say things about issues that I don’t really care about, but will be sure to piss off large portions of the general public…yeah, that’ll show ‘em…that’ll show ‘em real good…nobody will ever laugh at my tiny penis again!!!