The Pitch

The Pitch

Setting: modern times, in a world similar to ours, though one that makes much more sense

Characters: the Producer, the Writer

The Producer is sitting in his office, at his desk, reading through papers, when there’s a knock at the door.

The Producer Come in.

Enter the Writer

The Writer Good day sir, thank you in advance for seeing me.

The Producer Make this quick. I don’t have much time.

The Writer Absolutely. Here’s the pitch: An hour long drama that revolves around a Presidential election.

The Producer Not another political thriller…

The Writer Hold on, just hear me out, this one is different.

The Producer You’ve got sixty seconds.

The Writer The show’s pilot starts one year before election night. The front runner on the Democratic side is the wife of an ex-president whose term in office was full of scandal. I mean a real sleaze ball—the guy is having sex with his interns and things like that. On the Republican side, a reality television star—an ignorant, racist, sexist, foul-mouthed billionaire. The show follows their turbulent campaigns. On one side, we have this woman who is absolutely corrupt. She’s leaking confidential information to foreign countries in exchange for cash contributions to her campaign. She’s sending paid-actors into her competitor’s rallies to stir up violence. She might even be involved in murders to cover up her wrong-doings. On the other side, we have this megalomaniac who is running a Hitleresque campaign based almost entirely on fear. He’s insulting people left and right—immigrants, Muslims, women, the handicapped—nobody is off limits. He might even be working closely with the Russian Government, using them to spy on his opponent. And yet, people love him. He builds a huge following, supporters that are willing to do anything to get him elected. So, now we have this country divided down the middle, set up for the most epic election in the history of the nation, and just a few episodes before the season finale, the Republican candidate is hit with a sex scandal where he’s caught on tape admitting to repeatedly sexually insulting women. At this point, the viewers think it’s over, that the Democrats have an easy path to victory, but then, in the second to last episode, there’s a huge turn of events. You see, there’s this disgraced politician, this pervert who got caught sexting with underage girls, his name, get this, Anthony Weiner…

The Producer (looking at his wristwatch): Wait! Hold on! Minutes up! There is no way this show will ever get made!

The Writer Why not?

The Producer You’re pitching a political thriller that involves presidential candidates who are tangled up in sex scandals, Russian espionage, fear mongering, and a pervert named “Weiner”? What else do I have to say?

The Writer But I haven’t even told you about the finale yet. You won’t believe what happens on election night…

The Producer I don’t need to know! I’ve heard enough! Nobody will ever believe any of this! Perhaps it will work as a comic book. Maybe a blog post. But I’m sorry, it’s just too far-fetched for television.