Lie High: A Few Words of Advice

             Contrary to contemporary convention (try saying that ten times fast), if you’re going to lie about your age, always lie high. If you’re thirty, don’t tell people you’re twenty-five, because they’ll either think you’re a liar, or that you don’t take good care of yourself. What you want to do is tell them you’re thirty-five. They’ll immediately respond with something like: “Wow! You look great for thirty-five!” As a thirty-three year old man, when people ask my age, I like to say forty, and I’ll be damned if they don’t think I’m the youngest looking forty year old on the planet. “What’s your secret?” they’ll often times ask. “It’s simple,” I reply with a wink of an eye. “I always lie high.”