Thursday, January 28, 2016

About that Time I Occupied a Federal Wildlife Refuge, by A. Bundy



About that time I occupied a federal wildlife refuge, I was only doing as I was instructed by God. And everything that has happened since the initial idea to occupy a federal wildlife refuge is clear proof that what we did, are currently doing, and will do in the future is exactly as God intended. Let me make this absolutely clear: I did not choose to occupy a federal wildlife refuge. God chose me to occupy a federal wildlife refuge. And on that first day, when nobody really took notice, when the media asked, “What is the point of occupying an uninhabited building on a federal wildlife refuge in the middle of nowhere?” and, “How is that a news story?” That was God telling us that we were doing the right thing. And then, on the third day, when the media did take notice and asked “What are you looking to prove by occupying a federal wildlife refuge in the middle of nowhere?” That again was proof that we were doing God’s work. And then, a week in, when the media forgot about us because there were better stories to report, that was definitely a sign from God. And then, when we started receiving dildos from all over the country, that was most definitely God sending a message to us. I’ll be damned if he don’t work in mysterious ways! And then, when we went to that town meeting and the citizens yelled at us to “Go home!” Yep, that was God telling us to stay. And then, a week later, when we tried to go to another town meeting and we were pulled over by the FBI and my good friend was shot to death—that was absolute proof that we were doing exactly as God wanted us to do. Gosh darn it God, if you’re not a crafty one. And then, when we were arrested and charged with federal crimes, again, God. And now, as we sit in jail cells awaiting our fate. You guessed it—God’s path. Now, let us pray…








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