Bacon Cheeseburger Salad: An Essay inside a Recipe

Ingredients:

1 lb burger (I use ground beef with 20% fat)

6 slices of bacon

1 package (2 oz) of onion soup mix

2 cups shredded cheese (I like cheddar)

1 tsp Worcestershire sauce

Lettuce (I use spinach)

Tomatoes

Red Onion

Dill pickle chips

Dressing (I like blue cheese)

I’m turning 35 years old this year and I’m concerned. I know many older folks who will laugh at the last sentence. They will say: “35! That’s young!” I know they will say this, because they have. And they’re partially correct, 35 is “young”, but only if your older than 35. To a 12 year old, 35 might seem ancient. But regardless of whether you consider the age of 35 to be young or old, it is generally believed—and scientifically verified—that 35 is the age when the human body begins to go downhill. Think about it—how many professional athletes do you see over the age of 35? Not many. And there’s a good reason for that.

Instructions:

Preheat the oven to 400 degrees. Panfry the bacon until it’s good and crispy. Break into small pieces. In large bowl, combine meat, bacon, cheese, soup mix, egg, and Worcestershire sauce. Mix together with your hands. Form small balls out of mixture about the size of a golf ball. Place balls on pan and bake for 15 minutes.

35 is about the age (it does vary from person to person) when the human body’s metabolism begins to slow down. It is also the age when the human body begins to naturally lose muscle (1% per year, from the research I’ve read). To battle this latter issue, I have begun lifting weights for the first time since high school. As far as the slowing of metabolism, there’s really only one way to fight that: You must change your diet!

Instructions (cont.)

Chop up lettuce tomato, onion, pickle to desired sizes and form a salad. Place meatballs on top. Add dressing.

Now, you can ask a hundred different health professionals what the perfect diet is and get a hundred different answers. I believe that is because everyone is different. We have different bodies, different genetics, different ancestries. But I don’t think it’s too hard to figure out which foods you should and shouldn’t be putting in your body. It can be as simple as eating something and then deciding how you feel afterward. As for me, when I eat anything containing added sugar or flour, I suddenly want to take a nap. Since food is supposed to give your body energy, that’s enough “scientific research” to tell me I shouldn’t be consuming vast amounts of these ingredients. But the problem is that I love cheeseburgers. They are my favorite food. Unfortunately, the cheeseburger bun contains an unhealthy amount of flour, which makes me super tired. And that’s why I invented the Bacon Cheeseburger Salad—all the flavor of a cheeseburger without the crash afterward.

Bon appetit!