What I Talk About When I Talk About the Buffalo Bills

I never thought this day would come. I’m standing on the waterfront in downtown Buffalo, among a crowd of a hundred-thousand strong, watching the ribbon-cutting ceremony for the brand new Ralph Wilson Stadium, the NFL’s most advanced, state-of-the-art arena, complete with a retractable dome and the world’s largest scoreboard. Everyone who is anyone is here: Andre Reed, Steve Tasker, Marv Levy, Thurman Thomas, Bruce Smith, Fred Smerlas—all the greats—the list goes on and on. Buffalo Mayor Scott Norwood cuts a red, white, and blue ribbon with a pair of over-sized scissors as the Goo Goo Dolls perform a rendition of “Shout.” Speeches are given: three-time Super Bowl MVP Jim Kelly tells the story of what it felt like to watch now-Mayor Norwood split the uprights to end Super Bowl XXV, and how he never imagined that the team would go on to win six more in a row; Kelly’s replacement, two-time Super Bowl MVP Todd Collins, reminisces over his five Super Bowl victories; and our current quarterback, Russell Wilson (who we stole in the third round of 2012 draft), talks about the future of the team and how proud he is to reside in Buffalo, New York, or what is commonly referred to as “Football City, U.S.A.” When the current President of the United States, Mr. O.J. Simpson, unexpectedly shows up to unveil a fifty-foot tall portrait of the late Ralph Wilson, the crowd goes absolutely wild…and then I wake up.

It’s hard. Being a Bills’ fan, that is. Sure, I can dream—like I did in the above paragraph—but the truth is there are few other professional sports franchises that are as heartbreaking to root for. Everybody from Buffalo knows that Scott Norwood missed that 48-yard field goal to end Super Bowl XXV, and that the Bills went on to lose four in a row; Todd Collins turned out to be a bust, one among many lousy draft picks, which seem to have become a yearly tradition; and as for O.J. Simpson, well, let’s just say that he didn’t become president. The Bills haven’t even made the playoffs since 1999—the longest current drought in the NFL—making them the only team who hasn’t seen the postseason this century (I blame it on the “Doug Flutie Curse,” but that’s a different story for a different day). There is no new stadium, and with the passing of Ralph Wilson earlier this year, millionaires are currently targeting the team, many with hopes of a future relocation in mind (you weren’t fooling anyone, Bon Jovi). No, it’s not easy being a Bills’ fan.

I’ll be 32 years old this fall and I still sleep with a Buffalo Bills blanket. I don’t live in New York anymore, but like many of my generation who moved away in search of work, adventure, or better weather, I still hold a special spot in my heart for Western New York, and for the Buffalo Bills in particular. While others worship their gods on Sunday, I worship a mediocre football team that has become the laughing stock of the entire league. Even three-thousand miles away, I still hear the jokes, at the local bar, as I sit in the corner by myself and watch the games on the only television in the joint that isn’t a flat-screen. When I tell people which team I follow, they almost always reply with the same two words: “I’m sorry.” But that’s just the way things are when you choose to live so far away from something you’re truly passionate about. Regardless, I still get excited when I see anything that has to do with the Bills: a license plate holder, a baseball cap with the standing buffalo logo, a homeless man wearing a Bills jacket (for some reason unbeknownst to me, most of the Bills merchandise I see is being worn by the homeless, which might seem fitting). As I currently reside in the Pacific Northwest, it would be awfully convenient to convert to a Seahawks fan (everybody else here has), but I just can’t bring myself to do it. I just can’t get the Buffalo Bills out of my blood.

          

The preseason has just ended and again the Bills look absolutely awful, but still, I dream—that’s just what Bills fans do. What else can we do? Maybe we played bad on purpose, to trick the other teams into thinking we’re no good. After all, we did have a team in the early 90’s that lost all of their preseason games, yet still made it to the Super Bowl. Maybe the signing of Kyle Orton over the weekend will light a fire under the young E J Manuel; or, maybe, Kyle Orton will win the starting job and become the next Kurt Warner, leading a young Bills team to their first championship. Maybe we don’t need a good offense. Maybe our defense will be strong enough to carry the team all the way, like the Ravens in 2000. Or maybe we’ll just be mediocre, like last year, and the year before, and the twelve seasons before that. But I don’t think so. I think this is the year we break out. The year people around the nation start talking about the Buffalo Bills again. The year dreams become reality. No, it’s not easy being a Bills’ fan, but I wouldn’t have it any other way. My 2014 prediction: 10-6 with a wildcard playoff berth. Go Bills!