Summer is in the air and you want to lose weight—who
can blame you? Who doesn’t want that perfect beach bod? Or those chiseled
muscles like a Greek God? Well, today is your lucky day! Because I am giving to
you—free of charge, no-strings-attached, 100% guaranteed or your money back—the
greatest weight loss plan known to man: The Diet Book Diet!
How
does it work? Simple! No, simpler than simple! Go to your local book shop (or
your favorite online dealer) and purchase three diet books, no more, no less; whichever
ones you desire—thick or thin, cheap or expensive, hardcover or soft cover—it doesn’t
matter. Now, take these three books everywhere you go—to your home, to work, to
school, to the mall, to the park, wherever—and every time you get the urge to
eat something unhealthy (something that isn’t a nut, seed, legume, fruit, vegetable,
or lean meat) simply rip out a page from one of the books and eat it. Still hungry?
Eat another. It made you puke? That means it’s working! Now, do this until all
the pages from all the books are gone (bet you wish you would have gone with
the thin) and then start on the covers (bet you wish you would have gone with
the soft). Once there is nothing left, you’re finished! The diet is over! And I
guarantee you’ve lost a ton* of weight. And if somehow you haven’t, simply send
a self-addressed stamped envelope to me, with twenty dollars cash (shipping and
handling) and I will gladly refund the entire cost of the program.
*not a literal ton (2,000 lbs)
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